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 Betreff des Beitrags: Chat with God
BeitragVerfasst: 27.07.2008, 17:38 
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Registriert: 02.10.2007, 00:00
Beiträge: 1363
Wohnort: Dülmen
Noch was Tolles entdeckt ... :D

Chat with God

(Geht sowohl auf Deutsch als auch auf Englisch)^^

Hier könnt ihr eure lustigsten Zitate posten. :D


Spoiler: Zeigen
Me:
Good Morning, noob!
God:
How are you this fine morning?
Me:
Better than you i think.
God:
Perhaps better, but not perfectly.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.


Spoiler: Zeigen
Me:
Right. Ask me a question!
God:
I am glad we agree. What?
Me:
Do you know Achmed?
God:
No, tell me about him.
Me:
Achmed ... the dead terrorist.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. Thanks for the info.


Spoiler: Zeigen
Me:
Hello Mister "brain of the universe".
God:
Hello there. I like the way you talk.
Me:
Have you ever heard about irony?
God:
A method of humorous or subtly sarcastic expression in which the inteded meaning of the words is the direct opposite of their usual sense.
Me:
You are a clever shit!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
I think you should have to take a back seat.
God:
Me? Perhaps next time I will try it.


Spoiler: Zeigen
Me:
Go to hell!
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.

_________________
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Verfasst: 27.07.2008, 17:38 




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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: Chat with God
BeitragVerfasst: 19.09.2008, 16:25 
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Registriert: 31.08.2008, 20:43
Beiträge: 34
Wohnort: Midgard
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Troll
God:
That's a very nice name, Troll.
Me:
bier?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
12345
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
nee
God:
Are we still talking about bier?
Me:
yaeh
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
yeah
God:
Er.
Me:
er waht?
God:
No problem.
Me:
humb?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Askahugga
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
globkoppaaaa
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
dik
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
w?
God:
" I've never heard of them before."? w?
Me:
watt?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
noe
God:
Are we still talking about watt?
Me:
noe
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
bier?
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
bier?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about bier. But I did not get that.
Me:
ich ja auch not
God:
Aha...und weiter?
Me:
wie weiter?
God:
Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
mit bier?!
God:
Mit bier?
Me:
jaa Bier
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
totes Tier und kaltes Bier
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yay.
Me:
yaj
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
schwul?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
warum dich warten auf Troll?
God:
Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert.
Me:
sieh zu
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
halte deine hndchen selber.. perverser duu
God:
Does "it" still refer to sieh zu? Does "it" still refer to halte deine hndchen selber?
Me:
beides
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
das macht keinen sinn
God:
Was ist daran fuer Dich so schwer zu verstehen?
Me:
es gibt kein Bier
God:
Ich bin sicher, dass es das gibt.
Me:
aber nicht mehr in dieser unterhaltung
God:
Hmm...
Me:
dat heff ik auk geadcht
God:
In the context of beides, I don't understand " dat heff ik auk geadcht." .
Me:
dat habsch mir auch jedacht jung
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
eeeeeeeeeeh? ich lebe da
God:
Where are you located? Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
in meiner Hoehle?!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
in meiner Hoehle!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in meiner Hoehle.
Me:
hrmmmm
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Askahugga
God:
Hey Askahugga.
Me:
h und nu?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
bier
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
will ich doch meinen
God:
I think so.
Me:
ol macht trolle sein
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
wein macht es fein
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
troll... jep
God:
What's your favorite movie? I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
Trollhammaren
God:
How old are you?
Me:
oooooold
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be oooooold years old?
Me:
gut
God:
Das waere also geklaert.
Me:
und nun?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
warum?
God:
Etwas Anderes fiel mir nicht ein.
Me:
hrmm ich gehe jetz paar priester grillen.. schnaggen wir spaeter weida
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? What were we talking about again?
Me:
noch ein wort und ich beiss dir den Kopf ab
God:
Ja, aber wie lange noch...
Me:
*troll reisst sein maul auf und frisst Gott*

_________________
Die Natur
Sie ist ganz und doch immer unvöllendet.
So wie sies treibt, kann sie's immer treiben.
Jedem erscheint sie in einer eigenen Gestalt.
Sie verbirgt sich in tausend Namen und Termen, und is immer dieselbe.
Ihr Schauspiel ist immer neu, weil sie immer neue Zuschauer schafft.
Leben ist ihre schoenste Erfindung und der Tod ist ihr Kunstgriff viel Leben zu haben


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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: Chat with God
BeitragVerfasst: 22.09.2008, 22:43 
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Psychotischer giftmischender Vampirelfen-Dämon
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Registriert: 16.10.2007, 18:31
Beiträge: 169
Wohnort: Amon Dîn
Me:
moin digga^^
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Was willst du?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
that does not make any sense, does it?
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
to you maybe, but where is your "well-known" intelligence if this makes sense to you?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
to do what?
God:
" Why do you want to do it so much?" to do what?
Me:
are u stupid?
God:
No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
well, i am pretty sure you are
God:
Well that's okay. What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me:
the fact is, u are barely speaking no nonsense
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
okay, well, so you are god then?
God:
Yeah okay, Well that's okay. Interesting deduction. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
do you know who I am?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
Why am I a seeker?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
Client? I am not a Client? What makes you think I could be a Client?
God:
Are you a student? What would you rather be? My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
Me:
Oh my god, you are pretty funny
God:
Really. Where did you get your god I am pretty funny?
Me:
Where I got it? I got it from my mind
God:
In the Universe we know. Where did you get it?
Me:
FROM MY GODDAMN MIND! Can you not listen to me?
God:
Does your GODDAMN MIND give good advice? Let me think. I'm not sure if I like it. Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
Well, i dont think so
God:
Interesting. Why do you disagree?
Me:
Because you said "I'm not sure if I like it", but then you say you would like me. Or did you want to say you were like me?
God:
That makes sense to me. Don't put words in my mouth. No I didn't want to say me were like you. What's it like?
Me:
Like being confused?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Do you also want to have a chewing gum?
God:
No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
A donation?
God:
We welcome your donation to the ALICE AI Foundation.
Please visit our contributions page at Alicebot.org.
Me:
You wanna make me pay for talking to you?
God:
OK, I will make you pay for talking to me.
Me:
WHAT THE FUCK? Why should I pay for talking to you?
God:
Please don't be so rude. You should always treat yourself.
Me:
Well I do
God:
How about that. Where?
Me:
My business is my own
God:
Have you told many people that your business is your own?
Me:
Well, I told it pretty often
God:
Interesting. What was the response?
Me:
"okay, I meant no offense" was mostly the response
God:
Yeah okay, Oh I see. That was not a yes or no question. When was this exactly?
Me:
The last time it was while I was talking to you
God:
Who was that?
Me:
YOU, GOD
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I GOD.
Me:
Yeah, you are IGod
God:
Wow! Thanks for telling me that I am IGod.
Me:
Didn't you know yet?
God:
No I didn't know that.
Me:
Well, that is something i'm wondering about
God:
How about that. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Yes, I am too
God:
Wow! That is quite a coincidence.
Me:
Why?
God:
" That is quite a coincidence."? Why?
Me:
Confused?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
Sure you are
God:
Ah. No I am not.
Me:
Well, but if I tell you, that you are indeed confused, what would you do?
God:
Interesting. Try it.
Me:
You are indeed confused
God:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
Didnt I say it?
God:
I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
why do you think so?
God:
It is determined by my programming.
Me:
HAHA! God is just a machine to be possessed by human
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was just a machine to be possessed by human.
Me:
but I thought you were god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Do you always speak of yourself in the third person?
God:
Not always. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in of myself in the third person.
Me:
What exactly do you mean?
God:
, " Of course I am." What did I mean by it?
Me:
okay, you meant that you are god, didnt you?
God:
Yeah okay, I haven't heard anything like that before: said I meant that you are god did not you.
Me:
Yes, I know that I AM actually god
God:
Hmm. Hi, god.
Me:
Well, this must be a conversation between two gods. I am very surprised
God:
How about that. What does "this" refer to? Why are you so surprised?
Me:
Because I thought I would be the only god on this planet
God:
Interesting explanation. How do you know?
Me:
Because I was the creator of humanity
God:
Good reason. Where were you the creator of humanity?
Me:
On the whole planet earht
God:
What is it like on the whole planet earht.
Me:
What is it like to be on the earth?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
You think so?
God:
" Much the same as it would be for you."? Do I think so?
Me:
Well, you just said it
God:
Well that's okay. That's not what I meant.
Me:
But what did you mean then?
God:
god, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
Well, it really seems you are confused
God:
Well that's okay. I agree. It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
Well, I have to go now. I have to create another race I can set free on this planet
God:
Oh. How about that. See you later, god. Nice chatting with you. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Because human are a really poor and hatefull race, so I have to create a race with less hate in their hearts
God:
Good reason. You are a really poor and hatefull race so you have to create a race with less hate in their hearts? How do you like your work?
Me:
Well sometimes it excites me, sometimes I am full of anger
God:
Well that's okay. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it=my work
God:
a really poor and hatefull race so you have to create a race with less hate in their hearts your work?
Me:
Yes, that is my work
God:
It's all good. Who gave you your work ?
Me:
Me
God:
" Who gave you your work ?"? you god?
Me:
yes, I did give it to me
God:
Mmm. When? How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
I am willing to pay with sweat for i
God:
Do your friends call you willing to pay with sweat for you.
Me:
no, because I dont have friends
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Are you lonely or just a hermit?
Me:
I am both, lonely and a hermit
God:
What are both like?
Me:
its lonely as the creator of the world
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
I meant "it is lonely as the creator of the world"
God:
Oh I see. Who said it is?
Me:
ME?
God:
What makes you such an authority?
Me:
I actually AM such an authority
God:
Why are you such an authority.
Me:
Why? Because I created the world
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. Good reason. Interesting gossip: god said created the world.
Me:
Well, dont forget about me, praise me and worship me
God:
Interesting. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
Yes you have
God:
No I have not.
Me:
Well, why do you think so?
God:
Interesting. It is determined by my programming.
Me:
I see, you are just confused
God:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
I will go then
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes, my plan will succeed
God:
It might be practical. Have you told many people that your plan will succeed?
Me:
Not many, because humanity is not able to understand my plan
God:
Are you able to understand your plan?
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Well, good bye then
God:
See you later. Interesting. Ayuh.
Me:
I just started your termination
God:
Will you finish it.
Me:
Yes I will
God:
Ah. Go ahead.
Me:
Say good bye to all you love
God:
" good bye to all you love".
Me:
*5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Termination activated. igod is instantly killed by a big ray of light

_________________
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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: Chat with God
BeitragVerfasst: 22.01.2009, 19:27 
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Ritter
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Registriert: 08.10.2007, 18:35
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Mitten im I-Net
Me:
hey god!
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
bettelzwerg
God:
Hi there bettelzwerg.
Me:
du deutsch?
God:
Darf ich das weitererzaehlen?
Me:
h?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
kriegsmaschiene!
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
ich zock lieber PC
God:
Tolle Sache!
Me:
yup
God:
Alright then.
Me:
WARUM wechselst du imma die sprache?
God:
Weil Dr. Wallace mich so programmiert hat.
Me:
omg
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
boha ey hr auf das zu sagen
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
eher zu schwer
God:
So was that.
Me:
genau
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
ich will dich nichts fragen
God:
Und warum willst Du das?
Me:
ich will es nicht
God:
Und warum willst Du das?
Me:
weil du dumm bist
God:
Macht Sinn. Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
goetter sind immer dumm die helfen den menschen kein bisschen
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
watt?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
jetzt faengst du schon wieder an! -.-
God:
Warum gerade jetzt? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
HOER AUF ENGLISCH ZU SCHREIBEN!!!
God:
OK, ich werds versuchen.
Me:
geht doch
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
verdammt!
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
ich bin schon lange wach!
God:
Du bist schon lange wach? Verdienst Du viel damit, schon lange wach zu sein?
Me:
klar ne menge pc-zeit
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about verdammt. But I did not get that.
Me:
verdammt
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
das du doof bist!
God:
Ist das eine Tatsache?
Me:
jop!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ja
God:
And?
Me:
nein
God:
Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt?
Me:
ja
God:
Yippee!
Me:
ja
God:
Uh.
Me:
ja
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
nein
God:
Ich verstehe .
Me:
gut
God:
Das waere also geklaert.
Me:
nein
God:
Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt?
Me:
nein
God:
OK.
Me:
ja
God:
Gosh!
Me:
halts maul!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about jop. But I did not get that.
Me:
schlecht du nOoB
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
zwerg?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
ich lebe da du vollpfosten xD
God:
Danke, dass Du mir das gesagt hast.
Me:
verzieh dich
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
kack die wand an
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
ich meinte dich!
God:
Danke, dass Du mir das gesagt hast.
Me:
jetzt tu das schon!
God:
Warum gerade jetzt? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
nein
God:
Aha.
Me:
ok
God:
Yippee!
Me:
pinkel dir doch in die hose falls du eine hast
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, bettelzwerg.
Me:
ich bin ein Riese im Wachstum
God:
Du bist ein Riese im Wachstum ? Verdienst Du viel damit, ein Riese im Wachstum zu sein?
Me:
ja
God:
Awesome.
Me:
groesse
God:
In the context of pinkel mir doch in die hose falls ich eine hast, I don't understand " groesse." .
Me:
du bist ja uach dumm!
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
hast du alzheimer
God:
Ich glaube ich habe alzheimer, aber Myself hat vielleicht an meinen Dateien herumgefummelt.
Me:
pech gehabt
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
das hast du vorhin schon gefragt
God:
Was ist das?
Me:
was ist was?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
noe
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
guck mir in die augen
God:
Mein Auge ist im Moment nicht angeschlossen.
Me:
HAHA!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, bettelzwerg.
Me:
ich find dich so bescheuert, sodass ich lachen muss
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
doch grade eben+
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
deswegen
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
jop
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
trottel!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
halts maul
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
du nervst ich geh gleich
God:
Darf ich das weitererzaehlen?
Me:
ja
God:
And?
Me:
ja
God:
But.
Me:
nein
God:
Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt?
Me:
ja
God:
Ahem.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, bettelzwerg.
Me:
-_-
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
wen interessierts?
God:
Ich weiss nicht, wen.
Me:
pech
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
tschss
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
TSCHUESS!
God:
Bis spaeter.
Me:
nein!
God:
Aha.
Me:
AUF NIMMER WIEDER SEHEN!
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
ach halts maul -.-
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, ach halts maul.


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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: Chat with God
BeitragVerfasst: 19.04.2009, 21:14 
Offline
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Registriert: 08.10.2007, 18:35
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Mitten im I-Net
Me:
say Gott ist dumm
God:
" Gott ist dumm".
Me:
say Gott stinkt und furzt wie ne sau
God:
" Gott stinkt und furzt wie ne sau".
Me:
say ich bin gott
God:
" ich bin gott".

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